


Ain’t That a Kick in the Head

by dreamingKatfish



Series: Oumasaitwitterweek 2019 [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Fallout: New Vegas, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Bad Flirting, Does it count as character death if they dont stay dead?, How do I tag someone getting shot in the head?, I'm going to be overrun with aus, I've gone and made a fallout au now, Like in a terrible pickup lines kind of way, M/M, Oh and then when they wake up proceeding to flirt with the first person they see, Oneshot, Oumasaitwitterweek2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 02:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingKatfish/pseuds/dreamingKatfish
Summary: Well getting saved after being shot in the head is one hell of a way to start an adventure. Least your savior is cute.





	Ain’t That a Kick in the Head

**Author's Note:**

> It's Oumasai Week in the Pit and I've made a fallout au for Day 1's prompt of Apocalypse.

His eyes began to flutter open, he feels rough rope around his wrist and presumably the same rope around his ankles. He shifts his hands in their bindings, they’re too tight to pull out of. He doesn’t get it. It was supposed to be a simple job. He sighs under his breath, should’ve expected it wouldn’t be. No such thing as a simple job these days. A gruff voice calls out, “Looks like someone is waking up here.”

 

He slowly lifts his head. There are two Great Khan members flanking each side of a man in a checkered suit. He’s smoking a cigar. Didn’t think many of those still properly existed, guess he was wrong. The moon is full and Ouma has a sneaking suspicion that he’s about to die. The man in the checkered suit snuffs out his cigar and begins to speak, “Time to cash out.” What did he think this was a casino? It’s just the middle of nowhere in the Mojave Wasteland. Just who the hell is this pretentious douche?

 

But before he can think on it further the man is stepping forward. And one of the Khan members questions the checkered man, “Will you just it over with.” Seems like Ouma wasn’t the only one who didn’t exactly want to be here right now. Though he doubts anyone would want to be in his current position.

 

The pretentious checkered fuck, as Ouma has now dubbed him, raises a finger to almost command the Khan member’s silence. And then chastises them by saying, “Maybe Khans kill people without looking ‘em in the face. But I ain't-a fink, dig?” He reaches into his suit jacket’s pocket and pulls out a poker chip and informs Ouma, “You’ve made your last delivery kid.” He then puts the chip away again. As he continues to speak he slowly pulls out a pistol, “Sorry you got twisted up in the sink.” Ouma’s eyes dart to the gun before meeting the stranger’s eyes again. Fuck, Ouma thinks if he survives this then he’s going to have to throw out his checkered scarfs later, this is likely going scar him in more way than just physically. The checkered fuck, pardon him, he means the pretentious checkered fuck continues, “From where you’re kneeling must seem like an eighteen karrot run of bad luck.” And seriously? More of these fucking casino references. But the fuck points the gun at Ouma’s head anyway, “Truth is… the game was rigged from the start.” And just like that, he pulls the trigger and Ouma’s world disappears.

 

\---------

 

Saihara jumps as he hears a gunshot go off. It’s the middle of the night, who would be out at these hours? He decides to follow where he heard the noise go off. Another shot goes off and Saihara flinches, but he keeps sneaking up the hill towards the Goodspring’s graveyard. He can see light at the top of the kill and it looks like silhouettes of Great Khan members. He can’t understand why the Khan would be all the way out here. He hides nearby and watches as someone in checkered suit orders the Khan to bury a body in a nearby shallow grave. He sees the gun in their hand, and pieces together that must be the shots he heard go off. He decides to wait for them to all leave. 

 

And though it takes a while, they do end up leaving. And immediately Saihara rushes to dig up the shallow grave. Inside he sees the small body of what looks to be, based on the outfit, a courier. Blood is pooling around them and fast so Saihara rushes to pull them out and wraps their head to try and staunch the bleeding before carrying the all too broken body to a doctor he knows should be in the small town. 

 

He nearly knocks the door off its hinges as he burst in calling for the doctor, figuring out quite quickly after showing up in this town that the woman stays up very late just in case. It’s coming into use now while he holds the still bleeding courier. A woman rushes around the corner and sees the bloody person in his arms and rushes him into her surgery area. She orders him around as she quickly gets to work on the courier. For the longest time, no words pass between them as she works to remove the bullets and repair as much as she can of the courier on the bed. Saihara feels his heart sinking as time goes on, but eventually, the woman finishes. The courier’s condition has been as stabilized as it could be. There’s no guarantee they’ll make it through the night, but at least there’s a chance. The woman begins to speak, her voice shaking, “That’s all I can do for him. I’ll watch over him until morning to see if his condition changes.”

 

Saihara nods, “Thank you Tsumiki-san. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

 

Tsumiki smiles at him, “It’s no trouble Saihara-kun. This is what I’m here for, to keep as many people in the Wasteland alive as possible. Now go get some sleep. Tomorrow may be a long day.”

 

Saihara bids her goodnight and leaves. Heading over to the guest room Tsumiki often has him stay in. He takes off his armor and hat, laying them down in the beat-up armchair in the corner of the room. He pulls up the radio on his pip-boy and puts on ‘Old Gold Radio.’ He pulls out some spare sleepwear as a song begins to play in the background.

 

“ _ My friends all tell me _

_ Go to him, run to him, _

_ Say sweet lovely things to him, _

_ And tell him, he's the one~ _ ”

 

He quietly hums along as he changes. His thoughts begin to drift to the mysterious courier he found earlier.

 

“ _ Deep in my heart I know it, _

_ But it's so hard to show it _

_ Cause it's easier, easier said than done~ _ ”

 

He doesn’t know why the stranger and Khan would target them. It just doesn’t make sense to him. And it seemed personal. Saihara wonders just what the hell the courier had done to piss off the wrong people like that.

 

“ _ My buddies tell me _

_ Fly to him, sigh to him, _

_ Tell him I would die for him, _

_ And tell him, he's the one~ _ ”

 

Saihara folds up his old clothes stuffs them into his pack. Saihara hopes the courier wakes up soon. He has a lot of questions for them. Though he supposes he can settle for looking at the scene of crime tomorrow. If he can find some sort of clue as to just who the hell the person who went after the courier, then he could figure out why it happened too.

 

“ _ Although he gives me a feeling _

_ That sets my heart a-reeling, _

_ Yet it's easier, easier said than done~ _ ”

 

He knows he should maybe focus on the motive before trying to immediately find the person, but he doubts he’ll ever figure out the motive without speaking to the courier or the person who did it.

 

“ _ Well, I know that I love him so _ .

_ I'm afraid that he'll never know _

_ Because I (I-I) I get so timid and shy _

_ Each time that I look him in the eye~ _ ”

 

Saihara shakes his head. He’ll have to solve this tomorrow. For right now he should be getting some sleep. He lies down on the bed.

 

“ _ They all tell me  _

_ Sing to him, swing with him, _

_ And just do anything for him, _

_ And tell him, he's the one~ _ ”

 

Saihara’s last thoughts before he passes out is on the courier. The music continuing to play in the background as he slips under.

 

“ _ I got a love so true _

_ But I'm sad and blue _

_ Cause it's easier, easier said than done…~ _ ”

 

\---------

 

When Saihara wakes up again he feels slightly off before what happened last night floods back into his head. Of course! He had found a courier who for some reason had been shot and buried in a shallow grave. He should go check on them and Tsumiki. And quickly rushes around and gets dressed for the day. He shifts into his armor and slides his head back over his head before quickly rushing out over to the clinic side of the building.

 

Tsumiki is starting to doze when he walks in. She mumbles a rundown of the night and the courier’s condition. They appear to be fine, they’ll likely live and have a good chance of waking up. Saihara thanks her and sends her off to her own bed to get some sleep. She reluctantly accepts and leaves the room, asking to be informed if the courier wakes before disappearing from the doorframe.

 

Saihara turns back the courier and takes in their appearance. He can tell a lot more about them now that the heavy outfit from the night before is gone and the sun is up. He sees their long black hair actually has purple tints and just how pale the other’s skin is, which would be weird if it wasn’t for the fact the other had a brush with death. But even more than that is all the scars and injuries littering them. He can tell Tsumiki must have tried to patch up some of the spots, but there’s only so much she could do. But at the same time, Saihara can’t say he’s surprised by all the injuries. The Wasteland is a dangerous place and being a courier they’re likely out there more often than not. And Saihara can say he gets it from experience, even if you're careful you’re going to get hurt out there. Makes him wish he stayed in the vault town sometimes. But no, he couldn’t just sit idly and pretend the world didn’t end.

 

In the end, he’s glad he decided to leave though, otherwise, no one would have gotten to the courier in time and they would’ve died without closure. They deserve to know who did this and why they were targeted. The world may have gone to hell, but Saihara still believes in upholding justice. Or at least the closest you can get to it begin reasonable around here.

 

And though he would like to investigate, he decides to remain at the courier’s bedside, just in case. And he can’t help but notice how peaceful they look asleep. You just don’t see that kind of expression these days…. It looks beautiful. No wonder people were so fond of their peaceful lives back before the war. He wishes he could’ve seen what it was like before the war. To see peace in everyone. He doesn’t understand why people don’t really try to keep the peace anymore. Why they insist on fighting. But honestly? He doesn’t want to know. That’s one truth he could live without. He doesn’t want to understand how someone could prefer violence and war so much more than these peaceful expressions. 

 

Saihara waits by their bedside for hours, spending his time going over case notes and occasionally checking on the courier. But despite how long they should’ve been under, the courier begins to awake. A pained groan escapes their lips and Saihara rushes forward. Their eyes crack open and peer up at Saihara. And Saihara is briefly caught off guard by just how rich of a purple their eyes are. Their eyes shine like gems. Though he feels breathless, he still notices how dazed the courier is in their eyes.

 

This pattern continues for a couple of days. Until one day he finds himself jumping when he hears a weak and breathless voice ring out into the room, “I didn’t think I would get into heaven, but I must have since I’m clearly staring at an angel.” Saihara’s face flushes crimson and their a light laugh and a gasp before the courier begins coughing. Saihara quickly gets over the embarrassment to grab a bottle of clean water and pats the courier’s back before passing it over.

 

Saihara sits back while they- no likely he drinks. Saihara tells the courier, “Uhh, easy there. You kinda got shot in the head… So you should relax a bit, get your bearings.” The courier brings the bottle down and holds his head in his hands. But he appears to be listening so Saihara continues to speak, “Could you tell me what you’re name is?”

 

The courier struggles to take several deep breaths. Saihara waits patiently. Eventually, he answers, “Ouma. Ouma Kokichi. Courier number six-two-one from the Mojave Express. And I’m guessing you want to know how I died, or well, in this case, didn’t die.”

 

Saihara nods hesitantly before informing Ouma, “I’m Saihara Shuichi, a traveling detective. I found you and brought you to Goodsprings’ doctor, Tsumiki Mikan. You have her to thank for sewing up your head.”

 

Ouma smirks, “Aww, but I’d rather thank a pretty guy like you more.”

 

Saihara’s blush returns and he stammers out, “I- I- I’m going to get Tsumiki-san.” He turns quickly and rushes out the door towards the master bedroom. Gentle laughter ringing out from behind him. And all he can think that this is already shaping up to be a very interesting case. He looks forward to trying to solve it.

**Author's Note:**

> The title from one the songs featured in Fallout New Vegas, it's also the title of the first main quest of the game.


End file.
